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Dorkus Malorkus Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "mdorkus" journal:

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January 5th, 2011
06:46 pm

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Huh

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March 6th, 2010
10:43 pm

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Star Wars made my toddler racist
Things Melanie knows:
- Darth Vader wears all black.
- Darth Vader is a bad guy.

Things Melanie says when playing with her Star Wars toys:
- You're a bad guy cuz you're black.
- Shoot the black guy!

I'm a little concerned that someone might hear what she says out of context and conclude that we are secret Klansmen. I'm not really sure what to tell Melanie to neutralize the issue, though. She obviously isn't thinking of the color black in terms of race and trying to explain that to her would just confuse her...

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January 10th, 2010
10:19 pm

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The Correct, American Way
Today Melanie asked me why the water draining in the sink goes around "that way" (clockwise) and not the "other way" (counter-clockwise).

I sat her down and explained how, contrary to popular belief, the Coriolis effect is far too weak to play a role in the direction water drains, and the most likely true explanation was the subtleties of the sink/faucet geometry.

Then she asked me why I had nipples (I couldn't come up with an answer).

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October 25th, 2009
10:48 pm

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toddler translator
Melanie's been picking up some interesting vocabulary from daycare recently. By now we're used to her telling us "you're poopie!". The last week or so she's been telling us things like "I'm a good guy! Mommy's a bad guy!" Finally today she told me "Daddy's a super-fighter".......

Also, magical is apparently a synonym for sparkly. As in, "These stickers are VERY magical!"

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July 7th, 2009
11:03 pm

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crazy wife's web of lies
Looking for apartments in Boston, LB and I have a deal-- she does the craigslist hunting and I do the footwork of visiting the places and choosing one or two, at which point she comes to give the final OK.

She somehow decided that using our real names on craigslist is a bad idea so she set up a fake email account using my real first name and a fake last name. I got a phone call from a broker she gave my number to while posing as me. He wanted to know what apartments the other brokers were showing us so we didn't waste his time double-dipping; I told him I totally understood and I'd email him the list (which actually, LB had). LB misunderstood and, using her fake email account that's supposed to be me, sent the broker back the list of apartments he himself had given us, which was useless.

So thanks to my wife's antics our broker thinks this person he's meeting in a few days named "Ian David" must be clinically retarded.

Current Mood: crankycranky

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April 8th, 2009
06:36 pm

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uh, actually its spelled "NUMB3RS"
Ran across this ad while looking for jobs for mathematicians:

Mathematician 'Numbers (TV Show) guy'
at perceptu in United States — Apr 05, 2009 |

Overview
do we really need to tell you what it takes to be our Mathematician 'Numbers (TV Show) Guy'?
e-mail: joinus@perceptu.com

Responsibilities
Responsible for:
Developing/Improving algorithms
Natural language analysis
Automatic structure
Search algorithms
Schema analysis/detection
Develop/Build Virtual Economy
More...

Experience
reference the above

Skills
must be the 'Numbers (TV Show) Guy ;)

Education
hmmm...you tell us. (MS/PhD?)

Compensation
let's talk.
e-mail: joinus@perceptu.com

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February 26th, 2009
09:13 am

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2012, the all-30-rock republican primary

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January 6th, 2009
12:27 pm

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Why my wife hates me
Mathematician is the #1 job based on combination of pay, hours, and work environment/stress. Physician ranked just below janitor.

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January 2nd, 2009
11:08 pm

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The Fastidious Baby
litlebanana is on call tonight. Melblogging duties will be filled in by mdorkus.

Lately Melanie's been really into cleanliness, which all in all is a good thing for a toddler to be into. Some examples from today:
  • This morning litlebanana's robe had a small stain on it. Melanie accusingly pointed and yelled, "Mess!" I showed her that, in fact, her own shirt had a rather large food stain on it as well. Melanie insisted her shirt be changed immediately.
  • While strapping her into her carseat Melanie informed me several times of the "mess!" some birds left on my car's window.
  • This evening after eating frozen blueberries, Melanie accidentally made a purple stain on the dishwasher. Before I knew what had even happened, she ran into the living room, grabbed a tissue, came back, and wiped it clean.

I knew dressing her in all those baby mops would pay off someday.

Current Mood: dirtydirty

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November 24th, 2008
01:04 pm

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My father the PUMA
My father just told me that Hillary shouldn't accept Secretary of State b/c it will make it much harder for her to run against Obama in 2012.

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